I have really grown into myself this year. I am becoming more comfortable with who I am and have learned a lot about the world.
I am now in my second year of college, which sounds so weird to say. I changed my major in April from computer science to biology and it's been going well. It's a lot of work though I must admit. And let's just say, I am not the best with time management and keeping on track with all the due dates.
I want to say I like college. But I also don't. I like that I am able to study what I want and I like my professors, but I don't really like how I feel like I am an imposter to all my classmates. It's hard to make friends but, as I have become more comfortable with myself over the year, I am fine with that. I am fine with not having many friends. I feel more focused and more at ease.
But, with the friends I have made. I feel even better than I do when I am by myself. I feel seen, I feel heard, and I feel enlivened. They enable me to be... me. I am very grateful for them, alhamdulillah.
Regrets of the year:
1. Not getting my license yet.
2. Taking a math class in the summer.
3. Not including relaxing as a part of my schedule.
4. Not reading as much as I wish I could.
5. Not changing my major sooner.
6. Not believing in myself just because of one grade.
Happys of the year:
1. Spring semester chemistry and english class.
2. Baked a lot.
3. Finally got the hand of switching colors as I crochet.
4. Going out with friends, making new friends.
5. Praying tahajud.
6. Learning to love others.
7. Focusing more on Allah ﷻ.
Goals for the remainder of the year:
1. You guessed it.. getting my license.
2. Visiting a museum.
3. Writing and sending a letter to someone in my family.
4. Finishing a crochet project.
5. Reading at least 10 more books.
⤷ I don't intend to quantify my goals, this is just a numerical representation of how many more "lives" I want to live by the end of this year. Perhaps I should type up a list.
6. Learn a new language, or at least start exposing myself to one.
⤷ For a while I wanted to learn Farsi and attended Jummah lectures at a masjid that partially delivered the lectures in Farsi. Attending Jummah there used to be the highlight of my weeks.
7. Cook a full meal for my family & share with neighbors.
8. Travel out of state... 🙈
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