Midsummer reading update

Hello dear reader. I am roughly halfway through my summer. 

Alhamdulillah earlier this month I took part in my library's summer reading challenge and received a medal for earning a certain amount of 'points'. It made me really happy and motivated me to read more engaging and productive material. 

Two months ago I wrote a short post on the books I wanted to read that spring and this summer (you can read it here). My tbr was made up of fifteen books total. The following section will be the books I read from that list, a short summary, and my thoughts.

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1. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseni 

The Kite Runner is a heartbreaking story of a friendship between two boys, a wealthy boy and the son of his father's servant. The book is set in flashbacks in Afghanistan which in the book is in the process of being destroyed. Themes such as betrayal, redemption, s#xual assault, violence, drinking, and father-son dynamics (with a focus on class and sacrifice) are heavily present throughout the novel. 

I have a lot to say about this book. First, it should be known that the book is written by a man who did not live to experience Afghanistan's wars. (Bear in mind that he has acknowledged this -- I mention this only because events in the book are not based on true events he has lived or experienced). Second, the book is extremely emotional and built upon triggering themes. Third, The Kite Runner, should + probably would make you feel extremely grateful for family and will surely make you value all truths more, which reminds me of this great quote featured in the novel, “There is only one sin and that is theft... when you tell a lie, you steal someones right to the truth.” Isn't that amazing? 

Here is a draft of a short text intended to comment on the themes of social class and religious barriers that are described in the novel. 

2. The Stationery Shop of Tehran by Marjan Kamali 

Kamali's novel set in 50s Tehran is a cute romance between Roya and Bahman. Roya is an idealistic and academic teenager who resides within the spines of internationally acclaimed translated copies of classics, frequenting Mr. Fakhris 'stationery shop.' Bahman, like Roya, is politcal and shares her love for Rumi. The day the couple intends to marry, the result of a coup d'etat changes their country and their lives forever. Fate separates the couple and more than sixty years later, an accident reunites them and offers each the chance to ask the questions which have burdened them for more than half a century. 

I liked this book as it was a simple romance. If I've discovered anything from reading this year, it's my love for romances, ESPECIALLY Persian/Middle Eastern ones since our cultures don't really elaborate on the intimate relations of the couple; it's romance, and romance alone, not so often does one read sensual material in middle eastern (classic??) romances due to the shame present in those cultures. I don't know about contemporary novels, however, although The Stationery Shop of Tehran is an exception. 

3. When the Apricots Bloom by Gina Wilkinson 

This book was just so... suspenseful. It follows the story of three women, connected with a secret, living under Saddam's regime. Themes of trust, friendship, betrayal, and motherhood weave the events of the novel. Events in the story are inspired from the author's own experiences. 

I remember finishing the second half of this book in less than a day, it had such a grip on me. Extremely emotional and made me cry in some parts. This book was very eye-opening leading me to sympathize with the mothers of war-torn countries. I never thought to consider their sacrifice and struggle to give their children another chance at life. 

4. The City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty

I'm not really sure how I would summarize this book except by prefacing it as one set in an Islamicate world with djinn, muslim, and sahir characters and frequent allusions to the story of Prophet Sulayman (pbuh). 

5. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Oh my, this deserves a review of its own which I probably will not come around to composing any time soon, definitely not later in the month. (Haha). To say the least, I did not like this book. 

6. A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza

Amazing review and summary that captures my thoughts well. I found myself able to relate to a lot of the events in this book. 

This update, as you may notice, only includes six of the fifteen books. I know, I know. You may be wondering why I read so out of my tbr these past couple of months and I'll tell you why - it's because I'm spontaneous with my reads! If a cover or synopsis interests me, I'm gonna scoop it up right then and there. 

Remaining books to read on the tbr 

1. The Saffron Kitchen 
2. The Beekeeper of Aleppo 
3. A Thousand Splendid Suns
4. Call Me By Your Name
5. The Metamorphasis 
6. The Catcher in the Rye
7. Flowers for Algernon 
8. Secrets of Divine Love 
9. Heros of Islam 

I don't really want to read all of them. I'll probably not end up reading The Catcher in the Rye or Flowers for Algernon in the next five weeks (what is left of my summer). My sister thrifted a collection of works by Kafka which features The Metamorphasis so hopefully I can read that in a few weeks time. The first three in the list compliment my goal of reading more modern Middle Eastern fiction plus the plots seem interesting enough. I also want to check out The Island of Missing Trees by Elif Shafak. Somewhat hesitant to read Call Me By Your Name but I have a copy of the ebook and may read it later this month, who knows, but I'm sure it'd reawaken my fourteen year old spirit so I may relive her era of peace and nerdiness, Inshallah. I'm actually not sure why I haven't finished reading Secrets of Divine Love since I really liked it. Hopefully I can finish it by September. DNF Heroes of Islam... not much to say why, just didn't finish it. 

Inshallah I achieve all my reading goals or do better than anticipated ! 

June goal

For June, my goal was to read 1, 671 pages total to beat my 2018 record of 953 -- alhamdulillah I beat this by three times, finishing the month of June with 3, 159 pages total over ten books. 

July goal 

Not too sure what this month's reading goal is. I suppose I'd like to read at least three non fiction books so I can implement what I learn into my life more effectively. (This isn't to say you can't do this with fiction, it's just harder since fiction doesn't really expose you to any 'habits' or 'science' directly, it's all from what you interpret as you're not taught it). I'm currently reading Beautiful World, Where Are You by Rooney (I read Normal People last month and loved it) and have some books from the 'Shatter Me' series by Mafi checked out and on hold at the library. I'd also like to finish '1984' by Orwell preferably before this month ends. (328 pages, cr on 104, div by 7 [var. days of week] = 32 pages a day to finish it in a week's time). 

I'd like to read at least five books this month, Inshallah. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I hope I'll you again soon. Until next time, bookslayer xx

Exit West

In 2017, Mohsin Hamid published Exit West as a literary response to the 2015 migrant crisis. The migrant crisis of 2015 was a period when a large number of refugees arrived in Europe and sought asylum from the wars and crises in their home countries. His book is written in the lyrical style of prose and tells the story of a fierce young couple that has to leave their homeland behind them as they escape war in their country and seek asylum in Europe. In his novel, Hamid describes the migrant experience while focusing on that of two individuals, Nadia and Saed, as they assimilate into societies foreign to their own, exploring their sense of identity and self. Nadia is an independant and rebellious woman who accepts and embraces her migration from her homeland as a chance to create a new life for herself. Saeed, however, is an educated and romantic young man who works hard to adapt to the migrant lifestyle that forces him to unite his love for family and his cultural upbringing with his new life as an alienated individual forced to leave his home. Nadia and Saeed both experience periods of longing for the comfort of their past but each understand the need to create their own “home away from home” as a response to reclaiming their identity. 

I read this book for a school project, my final high school English paper. 

While I didn't exactly enjoy the book, I didn't "not like it" either. It's just probably something I won't read again. 

3/5 

Here are some quotes I liked

"To love is to enter into the inevitability of one day not being able to protect what is most valuable to you." 

"When we migrate, we murder from our lives those we leave behind." 

The Kite Runner

Yesterday I finished 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini. Today I sit in a Starbucks writing a review about it. 

I feel ashamed that I could read such a heart-wrenching and emotional book sensitive for many and sleep the night like a baby. 

(This review may contain spoilers and will therefore assume that you as the reader are familiar with the various plot points and characters that will be discussed.)

Themes of religion, race, and ethnicity are expressed throughout the novel. As a Sunni Muslim, I was exposed to the harsh treatment many Shias have to face just for their religion, and in the case with Hassan, his Hazara ethnicity as well. Amir, a Sunni Pashtun, and Hassan, a Shia Hazara, represent one of the many divisions that exist in the Afghan society. Naturally, these divisions which fate bores them into pave the course of their lives. 

Amir is the privileged son of a wealthy and well-respected Pashtun man, Baba. He doesn't experience poverty or the nasty glares of others for his facial features. He doesn't have to fear what awaits him at the turn of a street corner... or alley. Amir doesn't have a strong emotional connection with his father which he blames on himself and it seems to be the only cause of worry for him in his life.. how fortunate. Amir, unlike his friend Hassan, is educated and as a child he mocks his friends ignorance.

Hassan is a loyal and forgiving friend who is the servant of Amir and his father. He serves his friend breakfast, prepares his books for school, and cleans the home. Hassan's way of life taught him from a very young age that he is meant to sacrifice himself for the sake and comfort of others. Hassan is a content person and tells Amir how grateful he feels despite having so, so much less than him. Hassan personifies 'innocence' which is crucial to development of the drama and symbolism that Assef's rape represents. 

Race and Ethnicity in the novel

Racism is portrayed quite bluntly through the novel. Assef is without a doubt the novel's most racist character and justifies his rape of Hassan because he's "just a Hazara." Just? When he joins the Taliban, he again justifies his vehement grudge against a whole ethnicity by referring to the Hazara people as garbage littering his beautiful country of Afghanistan seeing it his responsibility to "take out the garbage." 

Hosseini skillfully authors relationships between the characters to reveal the complexity of ethnic relevance in Afghanistan with a direct focus on the Pashtun and Hazara ethnic groups. Pashtuns dominate Afghanistan and have always held high positions in economic, state, military, and religious affairs. However as a minority, the Hazaras were always discriminated against and considered low class by the Pashtuns. Assef's character represents Afghan nationalism. For him, Afghanistan has always been for the Pashtuns. Out of his own volition, Assef abandons all forms of moral conduct to oppress the Hazara and cleanse his watan, country, of them. 

The instances of rape, namely that of Hassan and Sohrab by Assef, must be understood as crucial events that directly relate to the significance of race and ethnicity in Afghanistan. Besides rape being an act of physical violence committed against the victim, it is also an attack on the victim's self dignity or gheerah of man. Rape as a motif in the novel represents oppressive domination of the powerful (Pashtun) over those who are (quite literally) under them (Hazara).

Amir as a Pashtun boy fails to defend Hassan's innocence while he is being abused. The guilt he feels from this plagues and traps him in his past. Amir justifies his failure to defend Hassan by using Hassan's ethnic background as an excuse for his lack of intervention. Critics of the novel say that Amir's behavior towards Hassan cannot be rationalized therefore forever making Amir someone who is selfish and deplorable. Later when Amir learns him and Hassan were brothers his deep-rooted racism becomes something very complicated and he looks for more ways to redeem himself. When he adopts his nephew Sohrab he publicly rejects the General's (and his own implicit) racism when he announces that he can no longer refer to Sohrab as some "Hazara boy." 

This morning I read a paper written by a student, Peng, which analyzed Hassan's rape from an ethical perspective. He writes:

Hassan didn’t complain about Amir’s treachery and framing, Hassan sacrificed himself to preserve narrow and selfish Amir because he was bounded by the class and social ethics, which made him willing to bear everything in their own ethics and class environment. As a result, Hassan had never shown any dissatisfaction with this unequal status, nor had he tried to change his fate. 

Peng further elaborates on the unlucky fate of Hassan. Hassan's tragedy directly corresponds with his social status as a Hazara boy, almost as if being a Hazara is a crime and his rape a punishment for merely existing. As a victim of Afghanistan's ethnic antagonism, Hassan suffers from an experience that many other minorities have. Peng believes that Hassan's rape represents the "tragedy of Hazara and Afghan (Pashtun) society." 

DRAFT.. WIP

She Wore Red Trainers

I recently finished 'She Wore Red Trainers' by Na'ima B. Robert. This book is quite popular within the young Muslim community and as it's a goal of mine this year to read more books with Muslim representation, I decided to read it. 

I really enjoyed this book. I wouldn't say I liked the plot but I liked the positive representation of Islam with characters who were proud of their religion. It's rare to find in young adult novels characters who are proud of their identity and I found that in this book. 

Crime & Punishment

Crime & Punishment is a Russian novel written by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. 

Crime & Punishment is set in St. Petersburg during the 1860s. It follows Raskolnikov who is an impoverished student determined to grant justice to the people of his city by committing a crime and suffering its punishment. 

"When he commits an act of murder and theft, he sets into motion a story that, for its excruciating suspense, its atmospheric vividness, and its depth of characterization and vision is almost unequaled in the literature of the world." 

Dostoyevsky quite amazingly utilizes the psychological themes of sin, guilt, and redemption to create the nineteenth century's greatest and most compelling philosophical drama. 

Beautiful Boy by David Sheff

"What happened to my beautiful boy?"

Beautiful Boy is a heartbreaking memoir written by father & author David Sheff. 

I first heard about this book in 2017/2018 when it was announced that there was a film adaptation of the book in the works. It was very big news for Steve Carrell to cast as David and Timothee Chalamet as Nic in the film adaptation. (Especially Carrell as most of his roles have always been someone cheery, funny, the life of the party etc. He is the world's greatest boss after all.)

I checked out this book months ago but due to our move and Ramadan, I wasn't able to read it then. In the last week of May, I had finals and my siblings were here so I didn't want to read a depressing memoir. I had to be in the right mood. I had to be compassionate and mindful of a family's struggle. 

And man oh man. 

I tear up when I read books. Sometimes. But this book is not like the others I have cried over. This one is so... real. And it was really weird for me to read because Sheff, being from the Bay Area, wrote about places I grew up visiting. From the Point Reyes station to the little beach towns along the North-of-San Fransisco coast. He recounts his memories and fatherhood with his children in the same places my father used to take me, my sister, and my brother. 

So yeah, it was incredibly emotional and to a personal level too. 

I loved it. When I was younger, as we would drive by those little hippie beach towns north of the city (SF), I always used to wonder at the type of people who chose to live in the country, if you can even call it that. After reading Beautiful Boy I have a better idea. 

Families live there. Sheff, spent his weekends taking his children and wife on hikes down the coast and up north by Lake Tahoe. My family used to do that. In fact, we used to go to the exact same ones that he wrote of. The ones that don't even show up on Google Maps. 

Sheff doesn't just write about his son's addiction. Rather, he tells us the story of his beautiful boy. He tells us of the day Nic was born, the trips to the park they would have, the school events, their surf days, and much more. He is the father of a boy he lost touch with. And that's what breaks me. He becomes codependent on his son but has to stay strong for his two younger children who are traumatized by their brother's behavior. 

Throughout the book, Sheff compares the treatment of cancer patients to those addicted to drugs and alcohol. Cancer patients don't choose to have cancer whereas a person addicted to drugs made the mistake of using them... even if just once... and has ruined their (and their families) life due to that. While I am still unsure of where I stand on the argument, nonetheless it has made me feel more deeply for families who have someone in their close circle addicted to drugs. I could have never imagined the horrors of that sort of life. May God protect us all. 

"No matter what we do, no matter how we agonize or obsess, we cannot choose for our children whether they live or die... I finally chose life for myself. I chose the perilous but essential path that allows me to accept that Nic will decide for himself how --and whether-- he will live his life."

As a parent, Sheff reflects on his parenting and blames himself for his son being this way. In Chapter 25, he visits his son for the weekend at an institute in New Mexico. Sheff and his ex-wife Vicki both agree that this would be the last time they try to save Nic. This would be his last chance and if he relapses or runs away, he is to fend for himself. 

A therapist tells them both that this weekend is not for blaming themselves rather "moving beyond lingering resentment." A father there, visiting his child who is also a patient at the institute tells Sheff that, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Amazing. 

Though the book covers some very hard topics, it has changed my views on drug addicts. In the end, they are people who need proper treatment and help. They can be parents, children, spouses, etc. They are more than their addiction. The system has failed them and the war on drugs hasn't been victorious. 

May God protect us all and heal those who are suffering. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post ! 

The American Bookslayer (Asma) xx

The Mirror of My Heart

I recently finished "The Mirror of My Heart: A Thousand Years of Persian Poetry by Women" translated by Dick Davis. I am so happy that I chose to start my poetry journey with this book. 

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemmingway

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemmingway is a beautiful memoir written in 1957 though it was published posthumously in 1964. Hemmingway writes about what it is like to live in Paris as an American writer who is young, married, and poor. The memoir is sketched with segments of Hemmingway's life and is shaped by his encounters with fellow authors and artists. 

My mother is a liberal arts graduate from the University of Fes in Morocco. She studied English and so naturally, the two of us talk a lot about the books we have read. My mother said that she always had the best time reading American classics, her favorite authors being Hemmingway and Henry James. She's read most of Hemmingway (if not all) and has always encouraged me to read his books. 

However, it wasn't until a couple weeks ago in my English class that I read a portion of A Farewell to Arms which introduced me to Hemmingway. I didn't really like the story itself but I really enjoyed reading his style of writing. 

I decided to read A Moveable Feast because it sounded like a very sweet memoir and I was curious myself as to what Paris was like in the 1950s. (I also wanted to read something that involved some traveling since I haven't done that in a while due to the pandemic). I used to follow a book account on Instagram and the admin would always recommend to her followers that one book so I said... why not? 

And I absolutely loved reading it! I love how Hemmingway writes, as I have mentioned a little earlier. He writes simple sentences and keeps his words clear. You don't have to read a sentence twice to understand it. You only read a sentence written by Hemmingway twice in an attempt to decipher his genius. 

Hemmingway is very honest when he tells us about his life in Paris as a struggling young man. He writes about his adventures in the city and about the trips he takes with his wife. I can't begin to say how much I enjoyed reading about his encounters and adventures in the great city of Paris. Reading this memoir made me want to move to a great city like Paris and work towards my dream of becoming an author. I could work small odd jobs to afford me the necessities and the cost of keeping a room. But it would only have to be me. I cannot imagine living that sort of life while taking care of a family too. 

Here are some quotes that I absolutely fell in love with:

"You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold"

One winter morning, my mother and I were sitting on the balcony looking at the trees. This past year has greatly strengthened the relationship between my mother and me, especially as I grow into a young lady. Before the pandemic, we did not really have "deep" conversations about life and what it means to be alive. However, with the death of my uncle (my mother's younger brother - Allah yarhamo), we have had more conversations relating to the topics of life and death and has therefore brought us closer due to our understanding of life. 

I mention this because this quote in particular reminds me of a conversation we (my mother and I) have shared. As we were sitting on the balcony, she quietly remarked, only louder than a whisper, "The trees are naked now and we can see everything that they conceal throughout the rest of the year." I remember looking at her and saying, "It's funny to think that the trees have an awrah." 

To imagine how the trees must feel with "their branches... bare against the wind and the cold" made me appreciate the clothes I had to protect me from going bare against the wind and the cold. It made me appreciate the hayyaa or shyness that we as humans are able to observe, even if only against the cold. But really, this portion of the quote made me think deeper about how the bare trees were still able to make it, standing against the wind and the cold. How their resilience allows them to live to the next season where they may clothes with leaves once more. 

(This comparison reminded me of Esperanza from the House on Mango Street and how she sympathizes with the four skinny trees in her yard. She looks at them for comfort as they have grown, despite being planted in an undesirable, undeserving place for trees. The trees continue to grow upwards despite the concrete that they are rooted in.) 

"But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen." 

Hemmingway uses a river that would flow again after being frozen to symbolize hope. Often we may view our struggles as something obstructing our path to success but not as often do we imagine how the passing of a particular struggle may greatly benefit us later on.  

"People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself."

After spending about a full year indoors due to the pandemic, I have come to appreciate all the seasons as they come by.... yes.... even summer. In California, we are currently living in spring and oh I cannot begin to describe to you how much I adore the season! It is not too cold nor too hot. I wake up to the chirping of birds and the buzzing of bees. I feel the wind rustle my wild hair as I stand in the backyard and the shivers the cold sends down my spine. In spring, I am a paper in the wind waiting for her ink to arrive so that she may start writing her own story.

"I've been wondering about Dostoyevsky. How can a man write so badly, so unbelievably badly, and make you feel so deeply?" 

Haha... I felt the same when trying to read Crime and Punishment. Perhaps I am too young to even understand his choice of words. 

Well, we have reached the end of this post! I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemmingway. I had such an amazing time reading this and I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to start with Hemmingway, wanting to read a memoir, or someone who just wants to know what life is like for a struggling author living away from his home country in a city as grand as Paris. It gives one hope for a life they cannot claim as their own. 

I wish for you the very best as always and goodbye. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post !

The American Bookslayer (Asma) xx

Copy from the library that I loaned. 

Picture from when we were moving. 

Copy rests on my naked mattress. 

Shed a couple of tears, not going to lie.